I don't know if it’s just me, but when it comes to exam seasons I often find myself in this place of feeling like the only thing I should dedicate my time to is studying, yet all I want to do is anything but study. This is what I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. I think there’s this image society creates when it comes to exams that our entire lives should stop and all we must do is prepare for answering those questions. There’s this pedestal society puts exams on of ultimate importance that comes with an inevitable sense of stress and urgency. I remember in my youth group, whenever the exams seasons came up, the only prayer requests everyone had was for the exams. While I definitely believe and practice praying over my seasons of exams, I find it curious how we get this hyper-fixation on exams (or work in general) and often lose sight of the rest of life.

I wrote matric last year. That means half of my year was spent preparing for and writing exams. When it came to my final set of exams, the Lord challenged me to take weekly sabbaths during that season and to trust his provision for my results (I am really passionate about rest and sabbaths so stay tuned for some newsletters on that!). These were the defining exams of my high school career. The ones everyone hyped up and the time for peak anxiety as we felt the pressure of giving our very best academic performance (according to society). And yet, every Sunday of that six week period, I did not open a book. I think there was one day that I spent about 30 minutes revising but besides that, I rested on Sundays and trusted God to make me capable for the next day.

Another part of this season was a mindset shift I had of dedicating to doing as much as I could and giving my best but surrendering my performance and results to God. I prayed that His will would be done with my efforts and that whatever the outcome would be, it would bring His name glory. This shift gave me a greater sense of purpose during my exam season but it also took a lot of the pressure off. It allowed me to humble myself at the feet of Jesus and desperately seek him in my weakness, because I knew I would drive myself into an anxious spiral if I tried to achieve my goals by my own strength.

Needless to say, all of this truly brought so much glory to God and He carried me through it. Even sharing this story now as a testimony is just a beautiful way I get to lift His name high. On that 14th day of January (whenever it was), I sat alone on our patio, playing the song Angus Dei by Micheal W. Smith as I waited for the message that contained a couple of defining numbers. The message came. Then the exhale of a breath I didn’t realise I was holding. Followed by tears of awe and gratitude as I praised the Lord for the straight A’s He gave me.

Now I find myself in yet another season of exams and struggling with this stressed, worldly perspective that I should dedicate my entire life to writing these papers as if they died on a cross for me. I do know matric is a more extreme season that does require a lot of dedication but this mindset of not allowing myself to invest my time into anything but learning has been causing a lot of wasted hours as I’m paralysed by this conflict of desires. I’m being challenged with the idea of exams only being part of life and there still being room to do other things if you’re wise with time management. I also have this fear that if I invest energy into something else, I’ll be too tired to study. I have a hypothesis that if I actually invested into doing other things like working on The Growing Seed and taking care of my health in between studying, it will actually save me time rather than waste it and give me energy rather than take it. So this exam season I am going to try schedule in one activity everyday that is unrelated to my studies and I am going to try dedicate to taking sabbath days again.

(I do want to preference this by saying; just as a sabbath day needs the 6 days of work that came before, shifting your focus during exam seasons requires you to dedicate enough time to studying)

The Lord’s encouragement for me and for you today is to hand over these exams to the God who is above all things. Let everything you do be for His glory. And my challenge to you is to reflect on this idea that exams, or work, does not need to absorb the rest of your life.

Schedule and do one activity today that has nothing to do with studying or work and gives you a proper break and chance to carry on with your normal life

Spend time with God

Watch a movie you’ve been wanting to to

Spend some time reading a book

Paint your nails

Go for a hike or some sort of outing

Work on a creative project you’ve put on hold

Spend some time with a friend (not a study date)

Take a long nap

Have a picnic

Maybe treat this ‘breather’ task as a reward for getting a certain amount of studying done.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” Proverbs 16:3

“The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭19‬:‭1‬

“O nations of the world, recognize the Lord, recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong.” ‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16‬:‭28‬ ‭

“For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭11‬:‭36‬ ‭

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬ ‭

I may have gotten a little carried away with scriptures but how good and worthy is our God!